check it out! polinbc.blogspot.com

...uhm...ayaw magwork ng hyperlink...so copy and paste na lang heheh :)

uy...it's been a while since i've last updated...hehe. A LOT can happen in just three months, believe me. Sobrang malaking miracle that I got through all of that. Anyway it's summer now and I'm looking forward to sleeping until noon everyday. I'm thinking of making a new blog...parang sawa na ata ako kay Spongebob....ummm...no, I take that back! HIndi pa pala :) I'll just change a few things here and there. I'll never delete you, Spongebob...never...(*hugs greenhills-pirated-spongebob doll*).
okey, to tell you the truth, wala naman akong dolll noh...I just have a *few* spongebob things which people happen to give me (after a little bit of persuasion from -ahem-).
Anyway please visit toffee's blog. It's really nice. She's quite insightful and definitely has a lot of interesting things to say about the world.

nakakainis sobra kala ko sa wednesday pa pasok ko but it turns out sa monday na pala!
     WAHHH I'M SO SAD!!!!
...WALA PA AKONG GINAGAWANG HOMEWORK!!!
...AYOKO NA TALAGA PUMASOK! AYOKO PANG MAGDUTY!!!

hehe. ang tagal ko nang hindi naguupdate. as usual :)

kanina nagparelax ako ning hair...ang sakit!!! Never again!!! Sobrang nag-sweat ako kasi ang sakit. Lalo na yung paa ko! Pasmado kasi ako eh. I was wearing apple's sandals pa naman. hehe oh well.

But it was worth it naman...my hair has never been this soft and smooth...sumusunod sa galaw :) walang sabit pa :)

Wala na naman akong ginagawa for this vacation...couch potato na naman. Pero kahit anong kain gawin ko hindi pa rin ako tumataba!!! Nakakainis, gusto ko naman tumaba kahit 10 pounds lang!!! Kasi sa Nutrition parati ako nakikita ng prof namin. She always calls on me. Hindi para sa recitation kundi as an example...of the malnourished, yung mga tipong underweight, marasmic, etc. Although she doesn't do it in a mean way or anything, but it just made me realize how thin I am. In a way, it's scary. I mean when I see people who are thin I go, "grabe sobrang payat naman niyan" but it's just now that I realized na ganun din pala ako!

And I think I look sickly as well. In fact, nung isang araw (last,last,last week i think), three (different) people at school asked me if I was sick, even though I felt very healthy. In fact I think I was at my healthiest at that time. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME???:O maybe i look too pale. No, hindi yun pwede. sobrang umitim kaya ako jan sa UST na yan! Ang dmi ko na ring pimples...huhuhu :(

Grabe! Ang tagal ko na pa lang hindi naguupdate! Hehehe. I had a lot to do kasi eh...but, all of that's over since tapos na yung first sem namin! Normally, I should feel happy, nay, ecstatic over the fact that all those toiling nights of pagpupuyat and pagaaral of seemingly useless facts all came to an end (at least, put on hold for three weeks)... but in truth, I don't feel happy at all. I don't know why though.

But y'know, even up to now, I still doubt whether asa tamang lugar ba ako...I mean, if I'm really meant to be nurse. Because as of now, I don't think I am. I mean, if you just look at me, I mean physically, you'd see a scrawny, short, frail, akward-looking girl. I don't exactly fit the term, "healthy". Personality-wise, I'm weak and I give up easily. I feel that I'm incompetent when it comes to doing things. I wish I was skillful, that I would possess a fast learning curve---but I don't. That's why I dread having our RLE. I dread having to attend to patients and letting them see how much of a bad (student) nurse I really am.  I'm scared for the fact that they could probably see through me, through my clutzy gestures and unsure eyes, that deep down inside, I have no idea what I'm doing. Or, better yet, I have no idea why. I mean, why be involved in a field where you have absolutely no skill at? In order to succeed,  you have to be somewhere where you excel at, not where you suck. That's why sometimes, I feel that everything seems so useless. All this studying, working, I mean I literally bled through all that! (well, maybe not:P ...I bled because, once, I tripped on my way to the library, which by the way, were spent mostly researching about things absolutely irrelevant to my course, nay, to my life---ehem,ehem,english...) The little person in my head keeps asking, why are you going through this...this hell? Hindi mo naman choice ito in the first place, why keep enduring when you know you're going to end up unhappy in the end anyway?

BUT....despite all these nagging thoughts that keep floating in my head, there is still a small part of me that wants to keep on going...to keep on persevering. But at the rate I'm going, I don't think that this is enough. I need someone to tell me that I am where I should be. I need someone to give me one good reason why I should continue all of this (a reason that is not, in any way connected to something like, "because you'll be able to go to the states blah blah blah..." or anything to that extent). I need someone to show me that I am needed in this field. Most of all, I just need someone to tell me, wholeheartedly, genuinely, sincerely tell me that everything will be okay...that I will be all right.

See? I warned you...sorry if na-depress kayo with one of my (many) frustrations in life... (-_-;)

BTW, I just turned 19 today...which all the more made me frustrated. Hmmm. A familiar Cindy Lauper song kept ringing in my head all throughout the day.Though she really knew what she was talking about... Birthdays seem to get more and more depressing as you get older...or baka ako lang yun. hahah :)

P.S. I'll just share you one horror story that our CI told us. It happened in the USTH which all the more made it more creepier. In one of the wards, one night, a couple of staff nurses were alerted by hysterical screams coming from one of the rooms. WHen they arrived, they saw that the patient there was hyperventilating and was being overly hysterical. Screaming that there was a black figure in his room and refusing to open his eyes, the staff nurses at first, thought that the guy was delusional. They couldn't see anything, though the patient kept on insisting. Finally, they called another nurse, who had a third eye, and let her enter the room. Sure enough, the other nurse exclaimed that indeed, there was a black figure, and it was standing right beside the two nurses!
...creepy, noh?

P.S.S. Just watched Carnivale on HBO. Ang ganda!!! It's nice...I'm kinda happy because I have a new series that I will follow...other than Spongebob, of course. And I'm also looking forward to "House of Flying Daggers"...the new movie of Zhang Yimou.Oct 13. yey.

LAST, absolutely last P.S.S: Last week, I was distraught, devastated, crushed by the fact that the med student that my classmate and I liked (ehermm. crush siguro. hehe), turned out to be a bading. KAKAINIS!!! Minsan na lang nga ako magkaroon ng crush tapos ganun pa!?! Ang gwapo pa naman!!! 6-footer, matalino, tapos kamukha pa ni Legolas! What more could you ask for??? Life is sad :P

 

Hello again…It’s been a week since our monthlies( I mean monthly exams) and… well…ANG BABA NG MGA SCORES KOH!!! Although, I’m not surprised about it, since I didn’t study very well. I got very high in Philo though…hahaha…binabaliwala ko nga yung subject na yun eh. I’m dreading to see what my Ana-Physio grade is, kasi sobrang bagsak-bagsak yung quizzes ko dun. Oh well.

 

We went to TMC two days ago. TMC or Tondo Medical Center, where I’ll be spending the rest of my RLE sessions, at least for this shift. It was clean, not at all what I imagined it would be…kinda small, you wouldn’t get lost in it. It kind of had a weird smell, but it was tolerable. As we were touring the hospital, I saw a wall with a couple of vandalizations, one of which read, “Gago ang mga nurse dito”. Hehehe. That pretty much cracked me up. I didn’t get mad though, because it’s true. I’m not speaking about us student nurses, but about the personnel working there. Nurses in government hospitals can be pretty rude, heck, even in private hospitals they’re rude! I suspect that their  brash behavior is due to their very very low income.

 

Anyway, TMC is a kinda depressing place (what hospital isn’t?). The wards were really small, the facilities were…not so nice, heck even their “Disinfecting Room” looks more like the opposite. Their beds were really messed up, a lot of ‘em were broken, and the walls were already peeling and it was full of water stains. I mean, back at school, they kept telling us to observe the “aseptic technique” at all times, and I’m wondering, how can we do that here? The whole place seems to not have anything sterile. But, the external environment of TMC is nothing compared to its…well, people. And I’m talking about the patients. I feel kinda sorry for them that they have to put up with this.  When we peeked inside the ward-slash-room for the moms who have just given birth, I was expecting to see happy faces and happy relatives. But instead, all I saw was…well, they were probably just tired or something. Also, TMC didn’t have an infirmary so the babies stay with the mothers in the ward/room. (Pero ang cute ng mga babies…sobrang small nila!!! Sobrang cute talaga. Can’t wait to have my own…hahaha! Joke lang. Least of my priorities in life.) I also saw this really old man who was at the Cardio ward. He was full of IV lines, and he had all these weird attachments connected to his body (which reminds me that I should know what these weird attachments are since it was taken up already). I felt sorry for him, sobrang payat niya kasi and parang anytime, he could pass away. Hayyy. After that day, I went straight to the Church and I thought about the things I saw in that place. I wished that I’ll have the strength to put up with those kind of things…to put up with death. After all, death always lingers in the air at hospitals. It’s ironic to think that life and death can exist in just one place. I mean, in one room, a woman might be giving birth, and in the next, a man might be hanging on to dear life. I really, really need to see the lighter side of life. And death. But I don’t think there is.  

 

So much for that. Yesterday we had our return demo for ID injections. Intradermal injections, which are, literally, just skin deep. The syringe should just be parallel to the skin, and these kind of injections are only meant for skin tests. It's usually done to test whether you are allergic to a drug or something. A small amount is only injected, about 0.2 cc. I did okay, although I think I could have made a better wheal (or umbok/bukol, since in ID, you have to make a wheal in the skin) if that CI of ours didn’t try to interfere with my grip on the syringe…But masarap pala mag-inject! Can’t wait to try it on my sisters! BWAHAHA! Apple will be my next victim.

 

Well…yun lang. hehehe.

 

Kadiri Fact # 1: No matter how gross it is, it turns out that you can drink your own urine. It’s sterile, and after all, it’s only made up of urea and ammonia and nitrogen. You’ll just expel it again. BUT, in the first place, why would you want to drink your urine? (btw, my classmate shared to us that he had already tasted urine “by accident”. I was like, paano naman yun e ang layo naman ng mouth sa…well, exit point ng urine diba???)

 

Kadiri Fact # 2: The odor of urine is described as “aromatic”. Meaning, medyo mabango. It starts to smell the moment it exits our body, when it’s immediately acted upon by microorganisms. Interesting, no? (…Fecal matter is also aromatic. “Mary-gold” pa nga ang term to describe its odor. This part I don’t understand. Good thing the teacher didn’t say anything about eating our own *toot*. What a relief. Hahaha.)

Hmmm...where do I begin? School started already, and it's only been, what, 3 weeks and pagod na pagod na ko!!! I can't believe how hectic my schedule is, my classes start at 7 am and ends at 5 pm! Grabe tapos everyday, me quiz kami! Anyway, here's a rundown of my (yeechh) subjects this sem:

1. Microbio and parasitology: very boring. As in boring talaga.
2. Ana-Physio: mahirap pero interesting siya. Ang baba nga ng mga quiz ko dito eh, biruin mo, you have to memorize ALL the names of the bones in the body! AS in pati yung mga tiny bones sa iyong wrist...!
3. Nursing 101A and B: Another boring subject. Although yung RLE namin part nito. RLE or duty namin is on thursdays and fridays...di pa kami nakakapuntang ward, pero marunong na kong magvital signs!!!
4. English: BLEECHHHH. I hate our teacher. She's so mataray,masungit,MAARTE! Nakakainis. I like to call her the Bride of Satan becuase she IS the bride of satan.
5.Christian Ethics: hmm...okey lang. Ok naman yung teacher namin.

Ok, that looks like a pretty light load...NOT! Nursing 101 takes up pretty much half of our day in school, not to mention na everyday tong subject na ito. Ana-Physio is like, 7 hours a week, pero as in concentrated siya  sa wednesday, can you imagine 3 hours of sitting through a class and looking at ohp slides of the different names of the muscles on our body. Sumakit young aking gluteus(hehe) hah!!! Microbio, may lab pa kasi, kaya nadagdagan tuloy ang hours of school namin.

We had our return demo(or practicals) about Asepsis kanina. Asepsis is like a technique used by the health profession to prevent contamination of the surgical equipment and the like. The number one rule here is, cosider everything unsterile. Yung parang, pag nasa MEd-surg ward ka and you're asked to assist the doctor in preparing the sterile field, etc. Sobrang arte netong technique na to!!! Kailangan sobrang maingat ka. Ang dami ko ngang mali e. I kept making the stuff "unsterile". Bawat galaw ko, the CI would say, "hoy hija, unsterile na yan!". I hated it. I guess I was nervous. Bagsak na ko dun... 

Anyway, medyo na-depress ako kanina because walang kwenta talaga yung skills ko as a nurse. Pero I promised myself na I would do A LOt better next time. Sana magkatotoo to...hayyy.

I did the color test that Anna took. I usually think of these kind of personality tests as bull, but medyo accurate yung ibang info...coincidence? But I don't get how choosing the colors would show what your personality is. But I had a (pretty violent...hehe) reaction when I read this part:
"ACTUAL PROBLEM:
Failure to establish herself in a manner consonant in her own high opinion of her worth..."

I STRONGLY DISAGREE.

Woooh!!! I just watched Harry Potter 3...it was good, nice---not great though. HP3 was  REALLY different from the other two films. A LOT scarier, mature, darker,blah blah...mas okay na umarte si Daniel Radcliffe. I especially liked the expecto patronum/soul-sucking scenes. But the problem with him is that medyo inconsistent yung performance niya...it's like, at other points in the film, he's back to being boring and expressionless, and then at other times, okay naman siya (again, soul-sucking scenes at the lake). Rupert and Emma were a lot better.
The movie was not very satisfying. Bakit ganun yung ending? Sure, the whole bit was funny, but it was such a sucky ending, it didn't provide any closure to the movie at all! Plus, they removed a lot of scenes from the book, some of which, I think were very important...because it would provide a continuity to movie#4 and 5. Especially the moony-wormtail-padfoot-prongs bits! And what I'm most upset is they didn't include the hug between Ron and Hermione!!! Baka mamaya alisin din nila yung BIG fight scene nila sa Book 4 hah!

First things first, Harry POtter will be released here sa Pinas on June 2 and not June 4!!! Yey ahead tayo!!! I love my country... ^_^ Thank you Philippines!

...hehe. Natakot ako. Just a moment ago Toffee(our dog) was barking wildly at SOMETHING on the front door. When I looked around...walang tao...yeesh natakot ako. 12 pm pa naman. I was like,"This may be my first ever encounter with the supernatural kind.."Muntik ko nang off tong computer and run like hell papunta sa kwarto namin! ...kahit nga ngayon she's still barking! Pero it turns out, me tao sa labas, just outside our door (presumably our neighbors). Takot pa rin ako so I'll end this entry here. Bukas na lang...pag may araw.

Auugh my hands are shaking......!!!

...ang stupid pala ng title, but ala kong pakealam... she's barking again!!!

Nilagyan ko ng spongebob theme ung aking blog...